28 Winters

Somewhere in the world today, the winter winds are still blowing, snow is falling and the roads are slick and icy. Somewhere in the world there are fireplaces lit and the wood burning smoky clouds through the chimneys is sending sweet aromas into the chilly air. Somewhere there are quiet places where people are sitting, hidden from the elements, wrapped up in woolen blankets and toasty socks. They are enjoying the quiet ... and somewhere in corners of the winter world, there is new love blooming and seasoned love turning the ground over for another round of anticipated blooming.

So it was for me 28 winters ago, when Michael joined my family on a weekend getaway to a mountain cabin in Western Maryland. We were old friends on the verge of our new life together, committed and in love, and I was on a daily vigil for a marriage proposal. I was that sure. Michael was anything if not predictable, or so I thought. He must have known this assessment I had of him and decided to defy it by proposing to me at a time he knew I would least expect it. This he did with great success, for I surely did not expect him to pop the question while I was sound asleep at 6:00 a.m., all clad in flannel with my very best morning breath to provide him the answer. It's a blur, but I think that I said "yes" to his question and found a ring on my left hand which confirmed it.

Outside, gorgeous clumps of snowflakes fell that day. We had snowball fights and embarked upon our commitment together on a winter's day, surrounded by family chaos and disarray, puddles and mud. We looked ahead to our life together with equal parts naive confidence and numbing fear. We put on our boots and bundled up against the cold and trudged away together.

I'm thinking of my son and daughter in law -- now they are in their second winter together, also trudging. While winters out here in Southern California are not that cold, there are still times when the fireplaces roar, sometimes they are fire pits outside at the beach or on a patio, and always there are moments found to huddle from the rains or Santa Ana winds with someone you love. Their road together is so new ... as if it is a pathway of fresh snow with only little bunny rabbit tracks to pock the lane.

I loved that new winter time in my life. Against the white landscape, everything is clear and crisp. Since the new beginnings there have been new babies, bundled up in snowsuits, brought into our warm home, one winter after another. There have been new friends and old alike gathered around the table, warming up hearts with soulful chatter around bowls of soup, winter after winter. We have had some sloppy wet and bitter ice storms, too -- some slips and falls, painful losses against dark gray stormy skies. Under the ground, whether it has been wet with rain, scorched by wildfires and mudslides or blanketed by snow, life has been busy regenerating blooms and blossom and inevitably, there is a concert of color that follows the end of winter year by year. The view is always spectacular when the snow melts away... eventually.

If anyone knows about winter seasons and how to survive them all, I think it is my friend, Bettie. She knows about sheltered love in a marriage that was interrupted abruptly by the storm of cancer. Bettie's home has always been my metaphor for cycles of difficult and marvelous rolling and rolling like a wheel. When her Charlie passed away, she filled in the pool in her back yard and made it into a phenomenal garden retreat... filling the potholes with plants and life. She chose to close up empty and gaping holes with life, as she has done with her own these past cold winters she has been spending alone. And every spring her flowers remember their promise to bloom. I take such courage from all of that life under the snow.

All these images come together today as I think of my children as they celebrate their first year of marriage. I feel blessed to have had these past 28 winters, not merely for surviving the cold outside, but for having the shelter inside where we huddle together with such incredible warmth.