Monday, March 4, 2013

Day #3 - A Mustard Grain

Wait, don't get excited.  This post will not be about a sudden rainbow on my horizon -- the addition of a new food to my very limited eating plan.  Nope, that is not what this is about at all.

I was thinking about how a little mustard grain sprouts into something very large.  We all have heard this illustration in a Biblical sense, but I am thinking right now of how great things can be born from very small beginnings....

Again, I return to the topic of my confining list of rotating food options.  For the first few days, I looked at this list and saw all the things I could no longer have.  The list of what I "get to" have is slim and requires an active imagination to produce palatable results.  I went into a period of mourning and today, in the shower, no less, I had this little enlightenment.

From these things I "get to" have, will come things I will get to do and feel... and that list will grow.  I will get to wake up with less joint pain.  I will get to reduce my weight (much to the delight of the Persian man in Mother's Market who called this to my attention).  I will get to sign up for paintball runs and 5K's and tours of ruins without worrying about the effort it would take to put on my tennis shoes and tie the laces.  I will get to take swing dancing (and yes, hip hop, pilates, cardio barre, etc.) and tear it up on the dance floor, doing jazz hands all the way through.  I will zip line (maybe).

What I learned today from focusing on this small list is the shift needed in many things from "have to" to "get to".  The "have to" list is limiting and oppressive; the "get to" list is the one that expands and grows to great heights.  I pick that one. 

Even if my list only lets me "get to" have coffee once every 4 days, I am grateful for that opportunity.  And this morning... I got to!  (I think that a lot of people were happy for that beside me!)

Sunday, March 3, 2013

I'm Just Here for the Millet

Well, here we go.... I am off on yet another venture to get healthy, perky and (please, God, please?!?) dare-I-say, if it is not too much trouble for all the trouble, THIN, too....

As it turns out, I had a run of blood work taken a few weeks ago and it appears I have developed some serious food sensitivities which have wreaked havoc in my system.  The plan:  A rotation of the handful of edible items which are left, one list per day for four days and then back over again. 

I opened up the folder of paperwork with the same kind of eagerness with which you approach a spider in your sink.  "I'm bigger than this is", I scream in my head -- simultaneously cringing, squirming and avoiding ... but, in my classic style, I suddenly become Warrior Princess and go on the attack once I shake off the initial disdain. 

"It's just food", I think, chastising myself for making such a big deal of this ... and then I realize that, apparently, the love of food and ingredients with actual flavor are kind of ... my life.  Oh oh.

This is when I decided that a trip to Mother's Market was in order.  I heard that I could get in and out of this quaint grocery store with everything on my list and that there would be a lot of "helpful people" to point me in the direction of the items on my treasure hunt.

So, still dressed in my professional attire (mistake #1), I pulled into the parking lot.  Suddenly, it dawned on me that I might have been far less conspicuous had I changed into a pair of Crocs and let my gray roots grow in.  Too late:  target spotted, I became the alien that landed on their planet and these folks are a curious breed....

Merrily, I strolled among the organic fruits and vegetables with an ease that made me quite proud of myself.  Yes, I know what strawberries and green beans look like... papaya, not so much, but thanks to the packaging, I succeed in procuring one already sliced open and revealing black seeds (which I am still not sure are edible or not -- I picked "not").

And then ... we came to "millet" on my list.  I demurely approached a hard-working young man who was stocking some form of alternate bread and who was unbelievably eager to stop what he was doing immediately to help me in my search for millet.  Fun fact:  Did you know that millet can be procured in many forms:  puffed, hulled, whole, roasted...?  (Me, neither.) 

Suddenly, I looked around and realized that a convention of helpful folks had encircled me, welcoming me to their community.  My, weren't they awfully inquisitive as they questioned me as to why I was eating this food, and who is my doctor, and what kind of tests did they run, and.... and...  and didn't I know that "xyz" (insert 2,472 ingredients here) will be wonderful for me to try??? 

One Persian gentleman, lurking by the organic almond butter grinding machine, took a particular liking to me -- sharing his wealth of knowledge on millet and thousands of other things I failed to absorb.  At one point, he inserted his suggestion that I might feel better if I lost some weight. 

"Really?  Why that thought never crossed my mind," I spoke inside my head with all the self-control needed to avoid slapping a total stranger.  Instead, I grinned, thanked the gentleman for his suggestions and wished him the best, rapidly turning the corner and running into a 250-lb Chinese woman who overheard the words "weight loss" and perked right up.  She wanted to share her triumph in losing 30 lbs. drinking vinegar three times a day and then sharing the diagnosis of every family member, along with a decade of her life history.

"I'm just here for the millet.  I'm just here for the millet.  I'm just here for the millet."  Eyes on the finish line, I maneuver the wobbly cart to the check-out lane and in the refuge of my home.

Unpacking the recyclable bags (I know how not to offend, after all), my family supports me with lots of cheerful comments about how good this is and how good I am going to feel (love these people).  My daughter informed me that the bird eats millet, just in case I want to share.  Birdy is way more enthusiastic about this product that I was today, day #2. 



My goal is vibrance, to reclaim my inner dancing self.  I am not sure what awaits me on the road, but Birdy and I will eat that millet and at least one of us is going to fly.